And Now for Something Completely Different! Maryland Faery Fest '06!

05-26-06 - 10:45am

My husband and I attended the Maryland Fairy Festival! A chance to dress up, yay! :) For the most part it was a 'Come Buy Fae Related Stuff!' event - from which I came away with a piece of optical pink calcite, Chinese jade and tumbled selenite, go figure - but Keith and I managed to have a good time all the same. :)

I saw a fairy house that was SO CUTE that I found myself utterly inspired to create one of my own! Yay arts and crafts! ;) I have already begun collecting sticks and everything! :) And, of course, Keith brought his camera to the event and took some great pictures.

We also made some contacts for a gaming club that meets in Sterling, VA once a week! My husband and I love to play games. :)

Beginning to Trust...

05-26-06 - 10:30am

An exchange took place in comments for the previous entry that I felt was worthy of a post in and of itself. So, here you have it! :) I am assuming here that Anita doesn't mind her words going even more public, since they were mostly public to begin with. (if you do, Anita, just say the word and I will erase this post)

Anita said...

How interesting - I started from the opposite direction as you, from consulting others and am now moving toward trusting my own intuition.

Did you find that consulting Carol helped to validate what you already knew and to also help overcome any mental blocks you might have had but weren't aware of?

I sometimes see myself more clearly when other people speak to me. Each of us is so complex that I think it's hard to get past the "noise" of our own thoughts and lives to get to the kernel of us that is deeper and more real than all the other stuff going on.

What are your thoughts?

-A

12:30 AM EDT

Dawn of "Love is there..." said...

Hi, Anita! :) Yes, I did find that meeting with Carol helped me to confirm a whole lot of things that I felt, but hadn't been able to put into words.

And yes, hearing someone else say something in a stating the obvious tone about stuff I 'knew' but hadn't allowed myself to really believe did allow me to move into more of an accepting place.

'Noise' is a good way to put it. I remember 'knowing' these things that I remembered when talking with Carol - or, at least, a lot of them - when I was little. But, as you put it, I became complex...and the knowledge went underground and became the stuff of fairytales.

I feel as if I am waking up to a layer of me that was always there...just hidden behind a wall of practicality. A wall I would sometimes allow myself to peek over - just enough so I wouldn't forget all together - but for the most part didn't even notice was there.

Great to hear you are trusting your own intuition! As far as trusting others - I had some exerpiences starting early and lasting many years (see The Universe Moves post to this blog) that ended up with my having a very low trust threshhold for the idea of consulting anyone about myself.

Doctors majorly especially, but really, I think it became a blanket mistrust for the advice of anyone in a place of power, when it came to having someone telling me about the inner workings of Dawn-ness. I became the only authority in my life, and saw consulting others specifically about myself as a majorly bad idea. I decided that if I *had* to do it, I would take any advice offered with a grain - no, make that a truck load! - of salt.

Trusting and opening up is something I've been working on a great deal since I discovered how closed down I had become... Still, even now, it is the very rare few that I allow in very far - and I am lightning fast to close down again if I sense my trust has been betrayed somehow. As you can imagine, betraying someone with such high trust requirements can happen extremely easily...

Definitely a major life lesson here... :) And, probably the reason why I have just a very few close friends, and almost no CLOSE friends.

Thanks for bringing it up, gave me something to think about! :)

*hugs!*
- Dawn

Seeking Enlightenment - Who am I, again?

05-24-06 - 10:30pm

On May 17th I went to see a woman named Carol Fitzpatrick...and it has taken me this long to process the experience enough to write about it. She does occasional, much sought after channeled readings at Terra Christa, a metaphysical shop in Vienna that I visit often. The fact that I was able to get an appointment with her at all was a major synchronicity - a whole cascade of them, now that I think about it.

She basically works as a go between for you and your higher self/angels/guides/beings of light. Up until now I have reserved such counsel to me, myself and I...the idea of trusting someone to interpret my own Higher Self's messages? Scary. But, for some reason, I felt very drawn to this particular experience - it is the first of its kind that I have actually had. I am very glad I allowed myself to have it, despite my trepidations. She records her sessions, and though I've listened to the tape multiple times already, I'm still hearing new things with each listen...

The reading encompassed many things that feel true and right to me. Things that I never thought of before...that I never put together before, though they were right in front of me the whole time. The experience helped me to release my attachment to what I have been thinking of as my healing journey and the personal story that that entails... I hadn't realized that I had yet again fallen prey to labeling my experience. I had learned not to say 'my rheumatoid arthritis', but somehow 'my healing journey' slipped under the radar.

The primary realization that I gained from the encounter is this: It's time for me to let go of actively seeking; the next leg of my journey lies within, and can only be experienced by completely opening and allowing my true self to emerge.

I.e. meditation, stillness, and releasing the me I always thought of as me - the active mind. The personal story. The ego.

I had a sleepless night a couple nights ago... I had been listening to the tape of the the meeting, and reading Eckhart Tolle's book The Power of Now... and I had suddenly come to the realization of just how much of me isn't, well... Real. There is a lot of me that *is* real, of course... All the good parts. *grin* But... a profoundly scary amount of the me I have come to know and love is just, for lack of a better way of putting it, background noise.

Fears and doubts and motivations fueled by anxiety and lack and fear of pain and... So much identification with past pain and fear of future pain and...and I remembered the feeling of the Real me that I first noticed as a child. That powerful hum that had always been there, has always been there, silently watching and loving. It has been there with me through every moment of my life, and cherished every one of them - even the ones that I had at some point labeled as Bad.

My mental parts were very scared, that night... throwing up all kinds of arguements as to why this whole seeking enlightenment thing was a really bad idea. But...the hum was there even then, always there, encompassing it all - embracing it all - loving it all. Even as it/I watched my mind race for all the reasons why letting go of my ego would a fatal mistake - if I even could do it at all, and who was I to think I could do something like that when so many had tried and failed, anyway?

On and on and on my mind and emotions went...and the only answer they ever got was the silent, total acceptance and love of the hum behind the noise.

I suddenly realized that I couldn't understand what it was I was wanting to do...not mentally. Not emotionally... This was new territory, and something that couldn't be explored with analyzation and comparison. This was something to be experienced and surrendered to...like a scared child finally relaxing into an embrace, finally trusting that it really is going to be okay and that they can Let Go.

I closed my eyes and sighed and said out loud, "I don't understand - I don't think I ever will...but on some level I can feel the rightness of this... And it's okay that I don't understand, because I accept. I allow. I am ready to let go..." Which was quickly followed by the lightning fast, furtive thought, "Now what?"

And all was quiet - more out of exhaustion than anything else, I think. ;) And, I fell asleep. No special dreams, no special occurences, but the next morning, as I was getting dressed...I felt a tug at my neck. And suddenly, the gold heart locket that I have worn since I was five years old, that I never take off except for X-rays and other necessary occasions, that has been in my family for generations, that I identify with most as a defining part of the Me'ness of me, that has been with me for the last twenty-five years through everything that has happened in my life up 'til now... ... ... fell off. Just, fell off, just like that.

I was in total shock at first, followed quickly by a fluttery sort of, "Oh crap, what have I done?!" panic as I remembered the happenings of the previous night, and the choice I had made.

I think I got my answer...the heart locket now resides in a beautifully carved box on my shelf. I feel practically naked, without it...like there's a part of me that's missing...

That was Monday morning. Who knows what tomorrow may bring?

'Fridge Arts and Crafts Fun! Dawn's Book of Personal Positive Aspects

05-22-06 - 9:20pm

Fun! Arts and Crafts! I love arts and crafts. *beam* And so, with all the time I had on my hands during the internet/tv/computer fast, I created my very own BOPPA (Book of personal positive aspects) 'fridge magnet set! And to my happy surprise, my husband joined in on the fun! :)

The concept of BOPA (Book of Positive Aspects) originates from Abraham-Hicks, as illustrated in their book Ask and it is Given. The idea is that you create lists of positives about things you want to shift your feelings about. The more good things you can think of about whatever it is you want to shift your vibration on, the more you move into a space of appreciation, and thus gratitude and presto - good feelings!

So for instance, your boss at work really rubs you the wrong way. Come up with a list of positive aspects about them, add to it and refer back to it daily, and pretty soon the person won't seem to be the evil demon you once took them to be. Or, your drive to work, or your neighbor's cat, or - whatever, anything at all you want to shift your feelings about... ... ... including, yourself. And thus, on the Abraham-Hicks e-mail groups, the BOPPA (Book of Positive Personal Aspects) was born.

So! What's the concept behind this particular project? :) Well, beyond just having fun with arts and crafts, the idea is this: I came up with several concepts that I want to see more of in myself. I can see them there kinda...but not as much as I would like. Now, each morning, or once a week or when I remember, I go to the fridge and choose one of these that I would like to focus on for the day.

And then, I do! Like, for instance, for one of mine, Creative, I focus on all the ways I am just so amazingly creative that day...and by the end of the day (or week, or whatever) I wonder how I could possibly have ever thought of myself as anything but astoundingly creative. :) It's a great picker-upper, and I'm enjoying myself (and appreciating myself!) more and more every day. :)

Just in case there are those that would like to make their own 'fridge fun magnet sets, I had my husband take during construction, and post-construction pictures! The paper was 27 cents at Michaels - they have all kinds of cool colors, but I decided to do o-naturale this time around. :) The little sticker magnet strips came from Michael's, too, for $1.28, and the lamination was created using clear packing tape from around the house. A sharpie and some dollar store stickers finished it off! :)

Empathic Gardening

05-19-06 - 10:40pm

So, without computer, internet or television, I suddenly found myself with a whole lot of time on my hands! I spent much of it outdoors, actually - reading, and, to my surprise, gardening! I've never gardened before in my life...I've always lived in apartments where all that was taken care of for you. But now, I can proudly say, I have gardened! I have weeded and trowled and dug holes and planted plants and mulched and watered and ... bonded, with my new garden. *beam*

As I placed each tender plant in the ground, I marveled at its delicacy and endurance...and its total dependence. The fact that I could just pick it up, uproot it from its pot-home and shake off the remains from its roots...and then place it into the ground in front of my house...and that it was okay with this...that it actually thrived through this experience!

I felt honored to share the experience with the plants, and found myself wanting to get to know them better, to share with them, and welcome them in thanks for their willing acceptance of their new station in life - Dawn's Garden. So, after I put each plant in the ground, I took my gloves off and dipped my fingers into the dirt and the lower fronds, closed my eyes - and bonded.

It was such a cool experience! Each plant empathically felt very different from the next, though ones of the same variety felt similar. I even picked up on the feeling that one plant was starving for water ... and realized that we had accidently chosen a plant that prefers a bog-like environment. A bog, my front yard is not. I have been giving it extra TLC and so far its hanging in there. :)

I did my best to communicate to each plant that they were welcome, that I was honored by their presence, that this was to be their new home for as long as they desired. I gave them a little energy Reiki/Chios style, and envisioned them upright and well rooted in their new earthen home, their branches/fronds/whatever reaching for the sun, perfectly balanced.

I got a few stares from the neighbors, but no one actually said anything... :) While I was doing this, I thought about the fact that I was using a form of empathy to communicate and work with the plants...and thought it would make a good photo-op for the blog - and so, I asked my husband to take the pictures above. :)

Since then, I have occasionally checked in with the plants, giving them some extra energy in the form of white light and feeling out their rate of acclimatization - they're doing great! And the cool thing is I was able to feel the difference between them when I first put them in, and now that they're more settled and secure in their new homes. What fun. :)

May's Virtual Reality Feel Good Meditation

I happily present May's Virtual Reality Feel Good Meditation, based on the teachings of Abraham-Hicks and their Virtual Reality process! This is a guided audio meditation that I created that's about 10 minutes long and consists of a brief relaxation, and then a variety of visualizations for you to follow along with, and Feel Good experiencing! The idea is to meditate/visualize yourself right on in to a good feeling place. :)

You can listen by visiting the website, here:

http://www.loveisthere.com/feelgood/

If you would like to contribue *your* favorite virtual reality idea for the next Feel Good meditation, please e-mail me at dawn@loveisthere.com and I will include it! :)

I have now figured it out... :)

Well, after much thought and deliberation during my time of fasting, I have now figured it out – I am a teacher, and a healer. :) Most everyone I've mentioned my discovery to so far has said, “You mean...you didn't already know that?”

I guess, on some level... I did. :) It gave me a real sense of connection to pull that knowledge out and look it in the face. To recognize it for what it was, to try it on for size, and then to accept it as my own personal truth.

I believe this teaching and healing role is combined somehow, though at the moment I'm not sure how. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I believe that people who see themselves as they really are, who begin to experience first hand the amazingness of themselves...can't help but be healed. Made whole.

Another thing that came of this is that I have also, yet again and for the fiftieth time, come to the conclusion that meditation is absolutely key to my getting in touch with my true self, and my true purpose... For, well, years now, I've known meditation is to be an extremely important part of my life. There's just some part of me (and I'm sure that part is my mind) that Does Not – capital D capital N, Does Not! - want to meditate. I *think* I'm afraid of disappearing...I'm honestly not sure...

But...sometimes we're afraid of things, and we do them anyway... I think, and hope, that once I embrace meditation, I will love it.

Now to convince my mind of that...!